Surprises and Tears

What a day!

Had a pretty decent day, no headache.

~UNTIL~

but let me start

at the beginning..

A couple weeks ago Mark and I 

located 6 plastic large bins of clothes.

I have to question why mom thought

she needed to hold on to a lot of my

nieces clothes. I think she thought that

maybe Amber would have a girl so she

held on to them. They ranged from 3

months to maybe 12 to 13 yrs. 

Question was what to do with them?

I did not want to take them to GW.

I located a church about 10 mins from

my home that said they would take

them and what they did not pass out

they would send to the mission. 

I headed home from work and

for some strange reason I cried

when I past the hospital. 

I have not cried

in a couple of weeks so I 

don't know what sat

that off. I headed to 

moms to pick up the bins

 but first I opened them just

to be sure I was getting

what I needed to get.

I found baby clothes that I 

took out for Everleigh. While digging

down in the bin to pull those out I

grabbed this.....

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓

Talk about loosing it. I balled.

I did not know my mom kept this.

It was a ballet outfit Amber wore

at 6 yrs old. 

I figured if she had this she

had the pink one from the 

yr before. I dug deeper, and 

there it was.

Just when I figured I have been

through most everything and 

there could not be any more

surprises.....I find yet another one.

That sent me on a quest tonight,

a quest to locate the pics

of Amber in those outfits.

Amber was mom's first

grandchild. She loved her so much.

Was so proud of her in dance. 

After posting the pics of 

the outfits on fb I jumped

over to PINTEREST...

where once again, I lost it.

I read this.

It touched a cord for sure 

cause if you remember my niece

(same one that belonged to said

above clothes) got married just 

two months after mom past. 

Holly (niece) contacted me and 

asked for pics of mom. She wanted

to frame one and place it in a chair

in the front row at her wedding. 

I had a frame with four openings

so I fixed it up with pics of mom and

it sat in the front row at Holly's 

wedding. 

    SO.....

this had me crying again.

Just been that sort of day.

Then I went to feed...

I have enough pain

on my own but tonight I sort

of got knocked down. The horse

that is in the pasture with my horse

decided to swing around and knock 

me on my ass right before stepping

on my big toe. 

I took a pretty good hit to the 

hard ground. Jarred the lower

back up into the neck. I am

already sore. 

CRAP...always something.

Maybe my friends are correct,

I just need to be wrapped in 

bubble wrap.