Morning Coffee, Fur Company, Pain and Fatigue

 Good morning!

I am on the deck enjoying these

amazing May temps. 

But, alas we are heading into

June and I know I will not be able

to hang out here much in the 

summer months. 

Today, which is Saturday on 

my calendar, later when you read this but

it is great out here. I normally can't hang

out here at 11am, but its overcast, 73, 

humidity is at 63 percent which to me 

sounds like a lot but it feels great, course

I am not out in the yard working either.

I really need to get the rear in gear 

and not sit out here keeping the 

furs company. 

HAHA...since I don't think they really

care if I hang out here or not!

Like I said, I need to get some 

things done inside, my friend

Tim is coming in from the 

Philippines again. He will be staying

here, not sure for how long.

I do know that he will prob visit with

friends here, drive to Fla. to visit

with mom, dad and brothers. 

I know he is coming in on Monday...

but as of yet, he has failed to give

anymore info, which realistic, I think 

is terrible rude, hence the reason I am 

not sending a message to ask him. 

I feel that should be on him.

Anyway, I do need to finish the 

cleaning I started weeks ago and

at least change the sheets on his bed.

I have not spoken in a while about

my fibro and some of the crap I 

deal with involving my life with 

it.  But today I feel the need to explain 

somethings just cause I think it makes

me realize more when I talk about

it, that I need to learn to deal more with

the issues it present.

First, this is a major issue.

You see, I used to jump up, shower

and do makeup, do hair and 

get dressed then I was out the door.

These days, I get up and lay around

for a while. That takes planning in my

head.

1. how long can I lay here before I shower?

2. shower, and 45 mins to an hour, recover.

3. Plan at how long it will take me to get ready.

4. what time I have to be there, how long it takes

to get there and exactly the time I need to leave.

Course in doing that I have to also plan for

stops if I have to get gas or etc. 

To be able to do this, I have to get

up early. Sure, some folks would say, 

cut out the laying around before the shower...

haha

if only!

This is not really just an issue with Fibro

anybody that has a chronic issue prob

deals with events like this.

I am pretty good at dealing with pain.

I have had a lot of practice, 17 yrs this 

spring. I have what I call my everyday 

pain and my flare pain. Most days are

the everyday pain, but even fighting with 

it daily causes issues. 

Pain after a while will play with your

mind to the point you ask why you are

still on this earth. 

I used to have the cleanest home.

Now......well, not so much. Not really dirty,

just totally out of sorts. Hence one reason I 

can't get my craft room set up. Why even three 

yrs after the move, I still can't get things done and 

set up the way I want it.

I tend to stack piles of things here and there.

Piles I intend to go through, but it 

never happens.

Okay, thank goodness it is not

this bad. I try to stack most in a box

or basket...

Stairs have become a big issue and yet

I moved from a home with the bedrooms

up a flight of about 14 steps to a home

that has steps everywhere. 

6 to get up to the deck

12 to 13 going to and from 

the garage and 

basement. 

About 7 getting to the front porch.

I normally stop at the bottom, think about

it before I actually go up.

Due to the amount of steps to the basement,

I sometimes tend to put off

laundry, since it is down the 

12 stairs, out into the 

garage and around the cubie hole

that is the underside of those

steps and around to the

washer. 

not mine....

So much so that I actually

loaded the laundry up in the car, opting for

the porch steps to go down, after I pulled

the car up in front of the steps, and going

to the laundromat. 

I did this on Monday. 

20 bucks later, I pulled the car to 

the porch, unloaded and struggled

to get the laundry up to the door and 

in the house and at this point,

its Saturday and I think that 

MAYBE, MAYBE today

they will get put away.

not mine

I say that I have pain but another issue

I deal with, which a lot of days is

worse than the pain...

FATIGUE.

Between being fatigued with 

dealing with pain, the meds don't 

help and of course the CPAP

Residual don't help either.

Yes, I take stay awake meds

that is suppose to help me from laying

around and sleeping all day.

They do keep me from laying down 

to nap, but I never feel energized,

I feel like all I want to do is lay 

down and nap, but I can't fall

asleep. 

And folks, if you don't know the

difference between tired and 

fatigued, you will totally miss

this point. Napping does not 

even fix the fatigue, it is not like

a nap will even make a difference.

I have even had the thoughts of 

possibly selling my childhood home

and moving to a smaller (easier to

care for) home, near my daughter cause

as time goes by, this gets worse, 

I feel I will need someone around 

me. I told Amber, I will see how I get

through the summer and maybe decide 

then. Not what I want to do, I don't want to 

be on that side of town, I don't

want to leave here, I have lived on

this side of town since I was six, 

friends are here, I know where things are,

but I might not have a choice. 

Life with a 

Chronic Illness

Now that I have depressed myself

more, I am going in to 

do something, maybe!

Yesterday I washed dishes. I don't have 

a dishwasher and I tend to place 

dishes on the counter. It took 

me two hours to wash dishes...

I stood and washed, I had to go

sit down at least three times

before I was done. And there were not

that many!

Today, I shall mop the floor

and put away the clothes.

This has nothing to do

with my posting but

I thought this was cool.

Have a great day,

Pam