Morning Coffee, Fur Company, Pain and Fatigue
I am on the deck enjoying these
amazing May temps.
But, alas we are heading into
June and I know I will not be able
to hang out here much in the
Today, which is Saturday on
my calendar, later when you read this but
it is great out here. I normally can't hang
out here at 11am, but its overcast, 73,
humidity is at 63 percent which to me
sounds like a lot but it feels great, course
I am not out in the yard working either.
I really need to get the rear in gear
and not sit out here keeping the
HAHA...since I don't think they really
care if I hang out here or not!
Like I said, I need to get some
things done inside, my friend
Tim is coming in from the
Philippines again. He will be staying
here, not sure for how long.
I do know that he will prob visit with
friends here, drive to Fla. to visit
with mom, dad and brothers.
I know he is coming in on Monday...
but as of yet, he has failed to give
anymore info, which realistic, I think
is terrible rude, hence the reason I am
not sending a message to ask him.
I feel that should be on him.
Anyway, I do need to finish the
cleaning I started weeks ago and
at least change the sheets on his bed.
I have not spoken in a while about
my fibro and some of the crap I
deal with involving my life with
it. But today I feel the need to explain
somethings just cause I think it makes
me realize more when I talk about
it, that I need to learn to deal more with
the issues it present.
First, this is a major issue.
You see, I used to jump up, shower
and do makeup, do hair and
get dressed then I was out the door.
These days, I get up and lay around
for a while. That takes planning in my
1. how long can I lay here before I shower?
2. shower, and 45 mins to an hour, recover.
3. Plan at how long it will take me to get ready.
4. what time I have to be there, how long it takes
to get there and exactly the time I need to leave.
Course in doing that I have to also plan for
stops if I have to get gas or etc.
To be able to do this, I have to get
up early. Sure, some folks would say,
cut out the laying around before the shower...
This is not really just an issue with Fibro
anybody that has a chronic issue prob
deals with events like this.
I am pretty good at dealing with pain.
I have had a lot of practice, 17 yrs this
spring. I have what I call my everyday
pain and my flare pain. Most days are
the everyday pain, but even fighting with
it daily causes issues.
Pain after a while will play with your
mind to the point you ask why you are
still on this earth.
I used to have the cleanest home.
Now......well, not so much. Not really dirty,
just totally out of sorts. Hence one reason I
can't get my craft room set up. Why even three
yrs after the move, I still can't get things done and
set up the way I want it.
I tend to stack piles of things here and there.
Piles I intend to go through, but it
Okay, thank goodness it is not
this bad. I try to stack most in a box
Stairs have become a big issue and yet
I moved from a home with the bedrooms
up a flight of about 14 steps to a home
that has steps everywhere.
6 to get up to the deck
12 to 13 going to and from
the garage and
About 7 getting to the front porch.
I normally stop at the bottom, think about
it before I actually go up.
Due to the amount of steps to the basement,
I sometimes tend to put off
laundry, since it is down the
12 stairs, out into the
garage and around the cubie hole
that is the underside of those
steps and around to the
So much so that I actually
loaded the laundry up in the car, opting for
the porch steps to go down, after I pulled
the car up in front of the steps, and going
to the laundromat.
I did this on Monday.
20 bucks later, I pulled the car to
the porch, unloaded and struggled
to get the laundry up to the door and
in the house and at this point,
its Saturday and I think that
MAYBE, MAYBE today
they will get put away.
I say that I have pain but another issue
I deal with, which a lot of days is
worse than the pain...
Between being fatigued with
dealing with pain, the meds don't
help and of course the CPAP
Residual don't help either.
Yes, I take stay awake meds
that is suppose to help me from laying
around and sleeping all day.
They do keep me from laying down
to nap, but I never feel energized,
I feel like all I want to do is lay
down and nap, but I can't fall
And folks, if you don't know the
difference between tired and
fatigued, you will totally miss
this point. Napping does not
even fix the fatigue, it is not like
a nap will even make a difference.
I have even had the thoughts of
possibly selling my childhood home
and moving to a smaller (easier to
care for) home, near my daughter cause
as time goes by, this gets worse,
I feel I will need someone around
me. I told Amber, I will see how I get
through the summer and maybe decide
then. Not what I want to do, I don't want to
be on that side of town, I don't
want to leave here, I have lived on
this side of town since I was six,
friends are here, I know where things are,
but I might not have a choice.
Life with a
Now that I have depressed myself
more, I am going in to
do something, maybe!
Yesterday I washed dishes. I don't have
a dishwasher and I tend to place
dishes on the counter. It took
me two hours to wash dishes...
I stood and washed, I had to go
sit down at least three times
before I was done. And there were not
Today, I shall mop the floor
and put away the clothes.
This has nothing to do
with my posting but
I thought this was cool.