Morning Coffee, Fur Company, Pain and Fatigue

 Good morning!
I am on the deck enjoying these
amazing May temps. 
But, alas we are heading into
June and I know I will not be able
to hang out here much in the 
summer months. 

Today, which is Saturday on 
my calendar, later when you read this but
it is great out here. I normally can't hang
out here at 11am, but its overcast, 73, 
humidity is at 63 percent which to me 
sounds like a lot but it feels great, course
I am not out in the yard working either.

I really need to get the rear in gear 
and not sit out here keeping the 
furs company. 

HAHA...since I don't think they really
care if I hang out here or not!

Like I said, I need to get some 
things done inside, my friend
Tim is coming in from the 
Philippines again. He will be staying
here, not sure for how long.
I do know that he will prob visit with
friends here, drive to Fla. to visit
with mom, dad and brothers. 
I know he is coming in on Monday...
but as of yet, he has failed to give
anymore info, which realistic, I think 
is terrible rude, hence the reason I am 
not sending a message to ask him. 
I feel that should be on him.
Anyway, I do need to finish the 
cleaning I started weeks ago and
at least change the sheets on his bed.

I have not spoken in a while about
my fibro and some of the crap I 
deal with involving my life with 
it.  But today I feel the need to explain 
somethings just cause I think it makes
me realize more when I talk about
it, that I need to learn to deal more with
the issues it present.

First, this is a major issue.

You see, I used to jump up, shower
and do makeup, do hair and 
get dressed then I was out the door.
These days, I get up and lay around
for a while. That takes planning in my
head.
1. how long can I lay here before I shower?
2. shower, and 45 mins to an hour, recover.
3. Plan at how long it will take me to get ready.
4. what time I have to be there, how long it takes
to get there and exactly the time I need to leave.
Course in doing that I have to also plan for
stops if I have to get gas or etc. 

To be able to do this, I have to get
up early. Sure, some folks would say, 
cut out the laying around before the shower...
haha
if only!

This is not really just an issue with Fibro
anybody that has a chronic issue prob
deals with events like this.

I am pretty good at dealing with pain.
I have had a lot of practice, 17 yrs this 
spring. I have what I call my everyday 
pain and my flare pain. Most days are
the everyday pain, but even fighting with 
it daily causes issues. 
Pain after a while will play with your
mind to the point you ask why you are
still on this earth. 

I used to have the cleanest home.
Now......well, not so much. Not really dirty,
just totally out of sorts. Hence one reason I 
can't get my craft room set up. Why even three 
yrs after the move, I still can't get things done and 
set up the way I want it.
I tend to stack piles of things here and there.
Piles I intend to go through, but it 
never happens.

Okay, thank goodness it is not
this bad. I try to stack most in a box
or basket...

Stairs have become a big issue and yet
I moved from a home with the bedrooms
up a flight of about 14 steps to a home
that has steps everywhere. 
6 to get up to the deck
12 to 13 going to and from 
the garage and 
basement. 
About 7 getting to the front porch.
I normally stop at the bottom, think about
it before I actually go up.

Due to the amount of steps to the basement,
I sometimes tend to put off
laundry, since it is down the 
12 stairs, out into the 
garage and around the cubie hole
that is the underside of those
steps and around to the
washer. 
not mine....

So much so that I actually
loaded the laundry up in the car, opting for
the porch steps to go down, after I pulled
the car up in front of the steps, and going
to the laundromat. 
I did this on Monday. 
20 bucks later, I pulled the car to 
the porch, unloaded and struggled
to get the laundry up to the door and 
in the house and at this point,
its Saturday and I think that 
MAYBE, MAYBE today
they will get put away.
not mine

I say that I have pain but another issue
I deal with, which a lot of days is
worse than the pain...
FATIGUE.
Between being fatigued with 
dealing with pain, the meds don't 
help and of course the CPAP
Residual don't help either.
Yes, I take stay awake meds
that is suppose to help me from laying
around and sleeping all day.
They do keep me from laying down 
to nap, but I never feel energized,
I feel like all I want to do is lay 
down and nap, but I can't fall
asleep. 
And folks, if you don't know the
difference between tired and 
fatigued, you will totally miss
this point. Napping does not 
even fix the fatigue, it is not like
a nap will even make a difference.

I have even had the thoughts of 
possibly selling my childhood home
and moving to a smaller (easier to
care for) home, near my daughter cause
as time goes by, this gets worse, 
I feel I will need someone around 
me. I told Amber, I will see how I get
through the summer and maybe decide 
then. Not what I want to do, I don't want to 
be on that side of town, I don't
want to leave here, I have lived on
this side of town since I was six, 
friends are here, I know where things are,
but I might not have a choice. 

Life with a 
Chronic Illness


Now that I have depressed myself
more, I am going in to 
do something, maybe!

Yesterday I washed dishes. I don't have 
a dishwasher and I tend to place 
dishes on the counter. It took 
me two hours to wash dishes...
I stood and washed, I had to go
sit down at least three times
before I was done. And there were not
that many!
Today, I shall mop the floor
and put away the clothes.

This has nothing to do
with my posting but
I thought this was cool.


Have a great day,
Pam



 

Comments

Oh dear Pam. I do hope that you get to feeling better. I have chronic neck issues and some days are better than others. I have learned that being faithful with yoga stretches helps. I started using a combination of turmeric and ginger to help with inflammation and I do believe it helps. Nothing is a cure but anything I can do to help it is a must. A friend of mine struggled for years with Fibromyalgia and still does but she has learned some tricks of her own with her health care. Girl, you be careful climbing up and down those stairs. Oh and speaking of summer...when the temps get so humid that it causes me to have breathing issues, I pretty much stay inside and I do love being outside in the summer months. BUT, only if the heat index is not beyond what I can tolerate. Happy Memorial Day to you dear lady. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
Sandee said…
It takes me forever to get anything done too and I don't have the issues you have.

Love that first picture. So welcoming. Beautiful too.

Have a fabulous day and week, Pam. Scritches to the kitties. ♥
Christine said…
Love the first photo
Liz A. said…
I've always showered at night. I'd rather not get up early. Then, after I shower, I have the rest of the evening to sit and watch TV and not contemplate going anywhere after. Worth considering?

Can you get your laundry moved upstairs? It might be expensive, but it would make your life so much easier. You could probably consolidate your daily tasks to one floor, using the others for days when things aren't so tough. Why make things harder on yourself when you don't need to?
Brian said…
It looks like Misty is enjoying the deck too. I hope you feel much better soon, I really do.
Marie Smith said…
Oh Pam,

I knew someone with Fibro and he suffered terribly too. Pain and fatigue were constants. You will know when the time is right to sell the house and move nearer to your daughter. It will be a tough choice by the sound of it. A smaller place, without so many steps may help in a number of ways. Take care, my friend!
Ann said…
That is rude not to keep in touch regarding his plans. It would serve him right if you weren't home when he gets there.
Your problem is fibro, mine is procrastination. I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. Some things I really need to push myself into doing.
I'm so sorry for all you are going through. It's good to vent and get it out. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can. I love seeing the kitty on the deck. I'm scared to let mine out without a leash, I wish I knew they would just sit and not get spooked and run away. I've been enjoying the deck too. The weather has been so nice this May!
Darla M Sands said…
Moving is stressful but may be your best choice. ~hugs~ I'm still shocked that my husband's older sibling and wife bought a larger home after the kids moved out. ~shakes head~ I'd be happy with a shack on the Kitty Hawk, Outer Banks beach. ;D Take care of yourself, my dear, and thanks for that great black/white photo.

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