Conversation, Fog, Words, Transposing, and Pain

 Morning...

Today I am going to open up 

my mind to all of you.

HAHA....

thank goodness you can leave

that my track of thoughts whenever

you want too. 

I however, can not.

Most days are not all that

bad but pain changes that.

When I hit a five or over

on the pain scale

with the pain, other things are

affected. 

Being in a conversation with 

me can actually be a challenge.

I can either shutdown 

or I can talk your

ears off. Problem with that, my conversation

will jump all over the place.

One friend that has been around

me more than most is my

boss Theresa, AKA T.

She noticed it years ago, when out

to dinner, we were talking. 

On one conversation I was deep 

into, then I jumped to something

non- related to what we were

talking about (prob just popped

in my head), then without warning

prob giving T whiplash, I went

right back to what we were talking about

without a thought or hesitation. 

I realized I was doing it, pointed

it out and said I was sorry,

when she said, I know, I saw

it, I have seen it before. But it helped

me that she just goes with the flow, not

stopping me to point it out. 

If that is not bad enough, you

should be in my head.

It gets really confusing up there,

even to me.

It is all over the place. Jumping

from one thought to the other,

and back, just like the conversations

I described. You have prob

experienced it from reading my post.

Just hang on and go with 

the flow is all I can advise. 

Not witting this for you all to 

feel pity for me, I am lucky compared

to other folks. School friend right now

is fighting is and losing the 

battle with 

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis~

ALS.

A friend that just finished her

treatment for 

ureteral cancer, she will go back in 

a week to do scans.

And a dear friend, Beverly

who just learned she has 

pancreatic cancer

which has no cure and she has

been given 6 to 8 months, knowing 

that this cancer comes with 

lots of pain that she has to face.

So please, no pitty.

Along with my wild thoughts, 

I deal with other stuff that goes

along with carrying on a 

conversation.

Brain Fog

My mom pointed this out to 

years ago. She would be telling

me something, I would be sitting

there listening, or at least it

looked like I was but what

was being said, was not going

into my mind or it was and 

it was being thrown right 

back out. Cause once mom was

done, within a few mins I would

ask her something that she

had just told me. I did not

hear it. My mind was in such

a fog, it got lost.

Along with that, 

 have become

an issue. Oh shit, words? 

LOL

I will be in conversation, then all

of a sudden stop talking, I know

what word I am looking for, but

I can't reach it, I will then use

a word similar although it is 

not the correct word. 

I feel like a fool when I do this

but no one points it out...

thank goodness.

I used to be so confident when 

around friends, knowing what I 

said was said correctly. 

Used to be full of knowledge now

however, I don't always trust what

I say. 

I read something on a page, then

two pages longer, I don't remember

what I said, it did not make it through

the fog.

NUMBERS and LETTERS

Transposing them..

1 2 3 5 4 6 8 9 7

In reality it's called 

 dyslexia

Not sure they address it that

way when it hits you in your

late 50's since you never had

this issue.

But yes, this started happening

when I worked for the TBI.

Numbers I was putting in the system

had to be right, so it was a challenge

to make sure it was done right. 

Last but not least, being in a conversation

with me I might just stop in mid

sentence either looking for that

correct word or forgetting where

I was going!

I do a lot of huh's in my

conversations. 

So, although pain is a major issue

with Fibro, there is way more that

goes along with it.

My biggest struggle is 

feeling tired all the time,

not just tired that a nap can

take care of but fatigue sort of

tired.

Yes, there are days I wonder why

I am still around, sucking up air

and blogging...

But, with that I just push on

and continue to suck up 

air and blog!

Pam