Conversation, Fog, Words, Transposing, and Pain


Today I am going to open up 
my mind to all of you.
thank goodness you can leave
that my track of thoughts whenever
you want too. 
I however, can not.

Most days are not all that
bad but pain changes that.
When I hit a five or over
on the pain scale
with the pain, other things are

Being in a conversation with 
me can actually be a challenge.
I can either shutdown 
or I can talk your
ears off. Problem with that, my conversation
will jump all over the place.
One friend that has been around
me more than most is my
boss Theresa, AKA T.
She noticed it years ago, when out
to dinner, we were talking. 
On one conversation I was deep 
into, then I jumped to something
non- related to what we were
talking about (prob just popped
in my head), then without warning
prob giving T whiplash, I went
right back to what we were talking about
without a thought or hesitation. 
I realized I was doing it, pointed
it out and said I was sorry,
when she said, I know, I saw
it, I have seen it before. But it helped
me that she just goes with the flow, not
stopping me to point it out. 

If that is not bad enough, you
should be in my head.
It gets really confusing up there,
even to me.

It is all over the place. Jumping
from one thought to the other,
and back, just like the conversations
I described. You have prob
experienced it from reading my post.
Just hang on and go with 
the flow is all I can advise. 

Not witting this for you all to 
feel pity for me, I am lucky compared
to other folks. School friend right now
is fighting is and losing th
battle with 
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis~
A friend that just finished her
treatment for 
ureteral cancer, she will go back in 
a week to do scans.
And a dear friend, Beverly
who just learned she has 

pancreatic cancer

which has no cure and she has
been given 6 to 8 months, knowing 
that this cancer comes with 
lots of pain that she has to face.
So please, no pitty.

Along with my wild thoughts, 
I deal with other stuff that goes
along with carrying on a 
Brain Fog
My mom pointed this out to 
years ago. She would be telling
me something, I would be sitting
there listening, or at least it
looked like I was but what
was being said, was not going
into my mind or it was and 
it was being thrown right 
back out. Cause once mom was
done, within a few mins I would
ask her something that she
had just told me. I did not
hear it. My mind was in such
a fog, it got lost.

Along with that, 

 have become
an issue. Oh shit, words? 
I will be in conversation, then all
of a sudden stop talking, I know
what word I am looking for, but
I can't reach it, I will then use
a word similar although it is 
not the correct word. 
I feel like a fool when I do this
but no one points it out...
thank goodness.

I used to be so confident when 
around friends, knowing what I 
said was said correctly. 
Used to be full of knowledge now
however, I don't always trust what
I say. 
I read something on a page, then
two pages longer, I don't remember
what I said, it did not make it through
the fog.

Transposing them..
1 2 3 5 4 6 8 9 7
In reality it's called 
Not sure they address it that
way when it hits you in your
late 50's since you never had
this issue.
But yes, this started happening
when I worked for the TBI.
Numbers I was putting in the system
had to be right, so it was a challenge
to make sure it was done right. 

Last but not least, being in a conversation
with me I might just stop in mid
sentence either looking for that
correct word or forgetting where
I was going!
I do a lot of huh's in my

So, although pain is a major issue
with Fibro, there is way more that
goes along with it.
My biggest struggle is 
feeling tired all the time,
not just tired that a nap can
take care of but fatigue sort of

Yes, there are days I wonder why
I am still around, sucking up air
and blogging...
But, with that I just push on
and continue to suck up 
air and blog!



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