True Story Tuesday - The Temper

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago…
I had a temper! A bad one.

It’s funny to think about now and to tell
people since I am so not like I was
back then. Now, I pretty much let
things roll off my back. I get upset,
I get ticked but I don’t blow like I
use to. I use to say I was like a volcano,
I let things build, and build then I blew…
and it was not pretty either.

There were doors that were ripped off
the hinges because my child locked a
door on me, there were holes put in the
wall by my fist because I rather patch
that then hit someone. I threw knifes
(and not in the circus), I picked up
kitchen chairs and threw them, phones
….just what ever was there that was handy.

I also let other people decide my mood.
Someone would pick at me, say
something I did not like and I felt I
had to have to last word ( I come by
the last word thing honestly)…now I
just figure its not worth it and I walk
away.

The question is, how did I change it all.
I would like to say I grew up but the
change actually did not happen until I
was around 32 yrs old. It seemed that
everything in my life had a way of going
wrong, this broke, that broke, I had to
deal with this disappointment, I had to
deal with this repair, I had to deal with
this remark. One day I sat and thought
about it all and realized it was the way
I except these things that made the
difference. I was the one being hurt
with my outburst, no one else.

I figured I would be the one to have a
heart attack or stroke from the way I
handled things in my life so I decided
at that point to calm down. Not to say
that on a day that I don’t feel up to par
something might not trigger a blow up
from me but in a case like that I try to
calm down before going off. And not to
say that little things like idiots tick me
off, but…there again, I walk away without
saying something, calm down then say
something.

There are times that the need to have
the last word creeps up on me, there
are times that I let it out. Some
people think that by being this way
I let others run all over me but I
don’t see it that way, I see it as
controlling my emotions, moods
and feelings. I would like to think
that makes me a stronger person.
Plus, I have learned over the years
that you can say what you feel,
get your point across without
being rude. Hurting someones
feelings is something I have tried
to avoid all my life, even when
totally ticked.

In a nut shell, I looked at the person
I was with my temper and I did not
like being that person. I had not
always been like that, where did it
come from…..no clue, but it was
there and it had to go. So my true
story is that I changed, I changed
the way I looked at things, the way
I looked at the people ticking me
off and just figured, it was not worth
it. Now don’t get me wrong, if I feel
it is worth the last word, the battle,
I go for it, the difference now is that
I don’t look at everything as that
battle. I now pick and choose
which one is worth it.

Thanks for stopping in,
Pam