Skunk Roundup

I have stories I could tell from my daily adventures
but I have some funny things that I have enjoyed
telling over the years and for some reason this one was
just yelling at me to tell today! Another ex story~

I make friends really easy, and I don't have a problem
meeting new people but for some reason this one time
just did not feel right. My ex came to me one day and
told me that a man he had been going hunting with,
that he also worked with was wanting us all to come
up for dinner one night. I said, "yea, okay"...little
did I know that within a few days, that okay would
come back to bite me in the rear.

Remember...I did not have a good feeling about this
dinner and it got even worse when the night came
and my ex was out loading his hunting bow and arrow
in the trunk of my car! Strike #1.

Stike #2 came when on the way up the ridge to a small
hole in the wall town (blink, you missed it) my ex tells
me that we have to stop at KFC to get chicken. My mouth
drops open and of course I ask "We are invited to dinner,
and we have to take it?" The reply I got was that they
were going to give us 1/2 back when we get there! Okay,
tell me what is wrong with this picture? I was feeling
even worse about this dinner by this time.

As we drive on up to this town and turn down this road
my ex points out a house and says "theres where Randal's
brother lives"....okay place, then come his parents place...
not bad. Right past the parents home we pull into a drive
and there in front of me is the most run down trailer I have
ever seen, strike 3. I know my mouth dropped open. Now keep
in mind my daughter Amber is with us and at the age she was
at the time she pretty much spoke the first thought that came
to mind. I was so hoping she would not and she did good, she
said nothing, could have been the look I gave her.

We were met on the porch by Randal and his wife and child. We
were introduce and I pegged him right up front. This man did
not like dealing with women. He never spoke or looked me in the
eyes. Then came strike 4...we stepped inside! The floor slanted down
at an angle. The living room was a dark paneled room with deer
heads and other critters hanging on it. No womans touch at all.
I followed the wife (can't remember the name now) into the kitchen.
Stike 5, the cabinets were hanging at an angle on the wall, the faucet
was hanging down a bit into the cracked and broken sink. At this
point I was just happy there were no bugs. The wife begins to fix Randals
plate and takes it to him in the living room. My ex looks at me
and I proceed to tell him to get up and fix his own. The wife
tells me that she don't work, he won't let her so she either serves
him in the living room or the bedroom. Again, I tell my ex to
get his own, I work and I am not waiting on him. I get a dirty
look from the other husband.

After dinner, the guys decide that it is getting dusk and time to
go to some other guys land where they hunt and see
the deers come out to feed. I speak up at this point and say...
the kids and I are going to. I invite the wife to go. I am getting
those evil male looks from the other husband! We go, we see,
I tick the man off more, we head back.

There is my ex, my two kids and I in the back seat of the wifes
old caddy and Randal, the wife and their kid in the front. We are
headed back, its dark and going into a turn, Randal see's deer eyes
in a field. So...he takes off with all of us in the caddy into the field with
the wife saying lowly in a southern draw "Now Randal, don't mess up
my car". The deer run off.....go figure! But then he spots a skunk! He says
"that must be the one that is getting under the house and smelling it up, I will
take care of him". Yes, he does, he proceeds to chase the skunk with
the car. Now tell me, what do you think would have happened if
he would have hit that thing?? Then he yells out " I got him" and
me being me had to look out the rear window and even though I
could not see the skunk, I knew he had not gotten it, I said, "no you
did not get him". With that he whips that big honking car around
and heads out for it again as we bounce and bop around in the
car! Thinking once again he got it...I once again told him no. So he
decides to bounce us out of the field, across the street to the trailer
to go get his gun.

We pull up in the drive. We all pile out. As Randal is heading to
the house and my ex is speaking to him, I hook my thumbs in
my belt loops on my jeans and I proceed to be me again...I say "Wow,
that is the best darn skunk round up I have ever been on"! Okay..
so the dirty looks came from my ex that time.

Can that be the reason I am not married anymore!! LOL

PS....we were never invited back!



Anonymous said…
you are toooo funny - love it
Anonymous said…
LOL.OMG I would have just turned right around and said...' are on yr own!' lol.. Wow you stayed..what a trouper!..And what a fantastic evening you had lol! It's a good thing he didn't succeed while ya'll were in the car (smile)...Mmmmmm can you just smell it hee hee..Skunk Eau De Toilette! Thanks for the laugh..I could so picture all that in my mind while I read it..You are a hoot! Nancy M; Ohio

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