My Past Week
this is a warning, this post is about
so if you are tired of hearing or reading
about it then you might wish to
jump over to another blog.
I do not post about it for pity I
just post for info, to teach about it.
I have dealt with this issue since
the spring of 2006. With each passing yr
things change, they tend to get worse.
Keep in mind that someone that has
fought with this issue for 12 yrs might
have different problems than I.
It is not a one problem illness.
This winter has been a rough one for me.
I have dealt with what I call burning
pain. Fibro is thought to be caused from
nerves, so that would probably explain why
I feel like there is a burning pain that
feels like it is right under my skin.
This is new me, I never had this type
of pain in all these years. I have always
had the flu like pain, all over.
Then there are the days that it might
just be a horrible pain in just one
area of my body. That pain can hang around
for days, weeks or pain....but then again,
it can move to another part of my body.
This is not a illness that you can say
from day to day that you will have pain
here or there. It tries to keep you on your
toes, keep you guessing from the minute
you wake as to wear you will hurt.
Oh and then there is the fatigue!
That and the meds can force me to crash
on any given day.
When I crash, I sleep all day.
Any given day that consist of change can cause
more fatigue and pain.
This week I was trying to help out a friend.
He was burned back in mid Jan. and
needed graths done this week.
He had a cousin that was going to drop him
off at the hospital and come back and
get him when done.
I have had several surgeries in my life and
my mom has always been there, taking me
and staying with me.
I just could not think about someone having
surgery and no one being there.
I told Tim I would take him.
Although I did a lot of sitting and waiting that
day, it was not in the comfort
of my home, my body was not happy.
They kept Tim that day due to the fact that
they knew he lived alone and he needed
help in wound care.
After a long day at the hospital I went back
the next day. Then the next I hauled hay,
cleaned out two stalls and messed with
Misfire and the other horses.
Thursday I tried to get somethings
done around the house but I found myself
doing errands, then just sitting!
During this time I was also doing morning
and evening checks on Tim's dog and letting
Friday, I was at Tim's house by 9:30, picking up
things he needed me to bring to the
hospital. He was going to get to
go home. I was there by a little
after 10 and they FINALLY got him
dismissed at 3:30!
Okay.....keeping my mouth shut here on
Got home after getting Tim in the house,
his dog greeting him and mom bringing
a meal over to Tim. I came home but I had
to change, throw on a touch a make up
and I went out around 5 to pick up
another friend, Chris to go to visitation
for another friends mom.
I think I have been to more funeral homes
this year then all the times in my life.
Chris and I did not stay long but then
I had to drop him off. Home by 7!
No matter how tired, my body was yelling
You see, I pushed all week but not only did
I pushed, I pushed doing things that
I don't normally do. My body don't
like doing things it is not used to, even
if its just sitting at a hospital. My nerves
start acting up and then the muscles get
involved and start spasming or just plain
fill with pain.
Now to take this even further,
I used to be what a friend called the
CLEANER FROM HELL!
My house was always clean, I was always
cleaning on something.
The last five years being the worse with
this crap so much has gone to the wayside.
I wash clothes but most days they never make
it past the top of the dryer. If they do make it
upstairs, they very seldom make it to the drawers
or even hung up.
Thank goodness for
a dishwasher for hiding dishes that need washing...
that is if they make it to the dishwasher.
Most days, they are on the counter or in the
My mom has taught all my life that if you will
put things up where they go when you
are done with them then clean up is easier....
I know this, but sometimes, putting things up
is just more than my body can handle.
In a word...my house is a mess.
I sit here looking at all the stuff that needs
to be put up and I just want to shut down.
My daughter will tell you that I am a hoarder.
But what that amounts to is nothing gets where it
is suppose to be. Then there is the things I bring
to the house thinking it would make an awesome
craft project, but I never get around
doing anything with it.
It took 3 months to redo the guest room....haha....
3 months on what used to take maybe a week at most.
I have a hall and two more rooms to do.
Being retired, limited funds this is work I will
have to do cause I can't hire it done.
I tell myself that I will get it done.
Social events....went to the funeral home a
couple weeks ago for visitation with
two friends....we talked about how my social
life has changed. I hate making plans with others
cause I don't want to disappoint them when
I can't do what was planned.
One big issue...I know these things yet I still
try to do what I have always done, like this
past week, and then pay.
Two years ago my doc sent me to a RA
doc since they treat a lot of fibro patients.
It was eye opening.
She told me that I had to learn to let go....
hahaha, if I let go anymore my home will
take me over, either from crap that needs to
go, things that need to be put away or
cleaned or just organized.
But the big eye opener was when she told
me I had to accept that I was not who I
used to be!
I know this but I had never had someone
else tell me that.
It was a slap in the face.
I am still having issues accepting that
my life has changed this much.
When dealing with someone with Fibro it
really depends on that person to
know how they deal....
I have a lot of pride.
I don't ask for help.
I don't expect others to help.
With that pride comes a lot of pain cause
I don't ask for help....
and so it goes on and on.
So, if you are a friend of mine on FB
and a few are then this will explain about my
status on not being around for others this weekend.
Will I be resting.....I need too but I have things
I need to do so I will do them.
I used to clean my brothers 4 bedroom, 3 bath
home from top to bottom - 4 hours....
In my case now....it takes me 4 hours to
think about what I need to do and I might
make a slight dent in it.
Thank you for taking the time
to read and trying to understand
Here are a couple of commercials
you are probably seen but not paid
a lot of attention too.
thank you for stopping by,